Miscellaneous Musings

Bigby's Annoying Kender
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V,S,F
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Immediate
Target: Humanoids or Monsters with Intelligence
Duration: 6 minutes per level of Caster
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No 

Bigby's Annoying Kender creates an average sized spectral Kender who cannot be hurt, dispelled or killed. The Kender gravitates towards the people who like him least, and begins to chitter in high pitched tones to them about any subject under the sun. The Kenders voice will magically drown out any other conversation, shouts or din, regardless of how loud it becomes. The Kender is spectral so it cannot be escaped. If locked out of a room Bigby's Annoying Kender will simply pass through the door or wall to find the creature he has taken a liking to. Bigby's Annoying Kender can also not be out-run, as it will move as quickly or as slowly as its selected target. It cannot be fooled and sticks with its target regardless of darkness, polymorph, invisibility or any attempts at disguise. If the creature afflicted is deaf the Kender will speak to him telepathically.
Bigby's Annoying Kender is so persistent, loud and aggravating that any affected creature becomes extremely distracted and suffers a -5 penalty to all Difficulty Checks and Attacks.
Components: Kender finger bone and 5 Copper Pieces.


Chittering Wind
Transmutation
Level: Brd 2, Drd 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 1 mile/level
Area: 10 ft radius spread
Duration: Until discharged (destination is reached) or no more than 1 hour/level
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: No 

The character sends a chittering message of "Hey Guys how's it going!!" on the wind to a designated spot. The Chittering Wind travels to a specific location within range that is familiar to the character, provided that it can find a way to the location (it can't pass through walls, for instance). The Chittering Wind is gentle and unnoticed as a Zephyr until it reaches its location. It then loudly delivers its chittered message. Note that the chittered message is delivered regardless of whether anyone is present to hear it. The wind then dissipates. The character can prepare the spell to bear the message up to 25 times repeated in rapid succession. The character can likewise cause the Chittering Wind to move as slowly as 1 mile per hour or 1 mile every ten minutes. When the spell reaches its destination it swirls and remains until the message is delivered, handling debris on the ground as it goes.


Comprehend Kenders
Divination
Level: Cl 5, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M/DF
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Personal
Target: The Character
Duration: 10 minutes per level 

The Character is able to understand Kenders; their high pitched speech, their customs, their motivations, their culture and their handling compulsions. The Character will be able to understand a chittering, high pitched, Kender speaking quickly as if the Kender were speaking in a normal, conversational voice. The knowledge the Character gains of the Kender's motivations will give him a +10 against losing any items on his person to handling, and all members of the Characters party gain a +4 against losing items on their persons. The Character will gain a +10 to tracking Kenders down based on his knowledge of their behavior patterns and customs. Kenders will however see the Characters familiarity with Kender ways and customs and interpret that knowledge as being a result of interested study. This will attract all Kenders in the area to the character.


Detect Secret Kender
Divination
Level: Bard 3, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 ft
Area: Full circle a 60 ft circumference around the caster
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute per level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No 

The Character can detect Kenders who have concealed their identities or race. The Character will also be able to discern who within the 60ft radius is a Kender sympathizer, Kender lover, half Kender or secretly desires to be a Kender. The amount of information revealed depends upon the amount of time spent studying the subject. Each round the Character can turn to detect people in a different area.

Dispel Kender
Necromancy
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V,S
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 100ft + 10 ft per level
Target: Any Kender, living or dead, within the radius of the spellcaster
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No 

The character can use Dispel Kender to instantly dispel any Kender or Half Kender, living or dead within the radius of effect. The Kenders affected immediately cease to exist, and all items that they were handling at the time the spell was cast are dispelled with them. A successful Dispel Check must be made by the caster in once for each attempt at the spell

Divine Judge-Law Bringer (Prestige Class)
Alignment: Lawful Good
Hit Die: D10
Requirements:

Ø       Race: Human

Ø       Level: 5^th or higher

Ø       Wisdom of 13 or higher

Ø       Class: Paladin (must be attached to Religious Order)

Ø       Bonus Feat: Skill Focus (Sense Motive) 

Class Skills: Sense Motive (Wis), Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (Religion) (Int)

 Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A Divine Judge-Law Bringer is proficient with the same simple and martial weapons, armor and shield as a standard Paladin. 

Class Features: The Divine Judge-Law Bringer is a Paladin with a keenly enhanced Sense Motive Skill and a close tie to his deity. The Divine Judge-Law Bringer needs both of these things to fulfill his divinely appointed task, which is to bring law and judgment to lawless or corrupted areas. The Divine Judge-Law Bringer is able to discern the party at fault in cases of wrong doing or crimes. His judgment is confirmed by his connection with his deity through a simple yes or no answer to the question “Is my judgment correct?” The divine Judge may use this Augury with his deity 1 time per week, with the number of times increasing per level of the Paladin. The Divine Judge-Law Bringer is connected to his deity and committed to enforcing his moral code. As such he is permitted by his deity to punish offenders in the form of fines, asset forfeiture, and in extreme cases execution. The Divine Judge-Law Bringer may not interfere with or usurp the authority of duly appointed, non-corrupt law of any region, regardless of who their deity is. His task is to bring the Law to where there is none and to remove the corrupt law where the innocent are victimized. The goal of his office is to protect the innocent citizen from lawlessness and corruption, and he is equipped by his deity to that end.  Should the Divine Judge-Law Bringer accidentally execute an innocent person for a crime his Divine Judge status will be forever revoked and he will need to seek absolution to maintain his Paladin status. 

Every fourth level the Divine Judge-Law Bringer gains an extra Skill Point in both Sense Motive (Wis) and Knowledge (Religion) (Int). In addition, as levels increase the Divine Judge-Law Bringer gains extra uses of Augury per week, as well as bonuses to his DC rolls for it. 

Kender Immunity
Conjuration
Level: Clr 5, Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Personal, 3 ft radius per level of caster
Area of Effect: All living Allies within the radius of effect
Duration: Instantaneous, 2 rounds per level of caster
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No 

The Character is immediately immune to Kenders. They are invisible to him, they are inaudible to him, and he suffers no adverse affects from them (such as having his items stolen or handled). It is as if Kenders didn't exist to the character. The character becomes immune to taunt and handling. If the Kender does something to get the party in trouble the Character and his allies within the area of effect will not suffer any adverse consequences, and the Kender will bear the consequences of his own actions alone

Kender Plague
Conjuration (Summoning)
Level: Clr 6, Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V,S, DF
Casting Time: 1 Full Round
Range: Long (400 ft+ 40/Level of Caster)
Effect: Swarm of Kenders 180 ft wide and 200 ft long (Minimum of 1,000 Kenders)
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: No 

A horde of running, chittering, handling Kenders swarm in a thick mob when the character casts this spell. Creatures inside the Kender Plague, regardless of Armor Class, suffer 3 hit points of damage for every full round they remain within, due to the jostling, chittering and handling. Invisibility is no protection. Once the Kender Plague envelops a creature it cannot escape unless it rolls a successful DC against it's Intelligence with a -15 penalty due to the distraction caused by the cacophony of "Hey Guy's How's it Going?". Every round spent within the Kender Plague the creature will permanently lose one personal item to theft and handling. Kender Plagues can be distracted by shiny or interesting things but cannot be driven off. All creatures within a Kender Plague lose the ability to communicate verbally with others around it as with a Silence spell, due to the incredible din of chittering, and will be unable to hear or think clearly for 1d10 rounds after the Kender Plague has dissipated. Spell component is a severed Kender ear and a handful of sand.

Cause Kender Speak
Necromancy
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V,S
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 50 ft Radius
Target: All Non Kenders within the 50ft Radius
Duration: Instantaneous, affects for 1D6 rounds plus level of Caster
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes  

When the character casts Kender Speak all Non Kender persons within a 50 ft radius from the Spellcaster (whether hostile or friendly) begin to chitter like Kenders. There is no saving throw, and the spell lasts for 1D6 rounds plus the level of the caster. For example, a 15th Level Mage who casts Kender Speak and rolls a 5 will cause those in the area of effect to chitter like Kenders for 20 rounds. Not only do the affected parties chitter, but their speech becomes very loud, high pitched and nonsensical. The phrase "Hey guys how's it going!" becomes interspersed with regular words in a sentence. After 5 rounds of engaging in or listening to Kender Speak at close range the affected party must make a morale check to determine if he attempts to fall on his own sword to escape the cacophony. A morale check must be made every 5 rounds, with a -2 penalty made to each subsequent check. for example, the first check would be normal, the second check would be at a -2, the third at a -4 and so on. Party's who fail their morale check fall on their own swords (or some other implement) and die with a smile on their faces. The volume of Kender Speak cast in mountains or cavernous areas causes hazards such as avalanches and cave ins once during any Kender Speak activity lasting longer than 15 rounds in one of the 2 aforementioned environments.


Kender Ventriloquism
Illusion (Figment)
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, F
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Close (25ft+5ft/2levels of caster)
Effect: Intelligible Sound, usually speech
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: Will Disbelief (if interacted with)
Spell Resistance: No 

The Character can make a Kenders voice seem to issue from somewhere else, such as another character, a statue, from behind a door, down a passageway, etc. The character can speak with the speed, pitch and mannerisms of a Kender, punctuating every sentence with a variation of "Hey Guys how's it going!". The caster can actually mimic the Kender's ability to taunt, and by making the taunt seem like it is coming from another person to begin fights indirectly. Targets can save through a successful attempt to disbelieve that the Kender voice is issuing from where the caster is making it come from.

Mister Subliminal
Illusion
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Close (25ft + 5ft/every 2 levels)
Target or Area: One or more living creatures within area of effect
Duration: Instantaneous, lasting for 1 round per level of the caster
Saving Throw: Yes
Spell Resistance: No 

Mister Subliminal is a spell that allows the caster to undetectably intersperse irresistable suggestion into normal, conversational dialogue. Those within the Area of Effect of the spell must save versus their will with a -3 modifier or perform the action suggested by the Caster. All who fall under the spell of Mister Subliminal will believe each suggestion to be an original thought conceived of by themselves, regardless of how preposterous or self destructive the request.

Power Word, Chitter
Conjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Close (25ft + 5ft/every 2 levels)
Target or Area: One or more living creatures within area of effect
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes 

Power Word, Chitter is a spell that causes all affected to hear the sound of high pitch Kender chittering at an unbearably high volume. When Power Word, Chitter is cast the caster may target either a single creature or let the spell affect a whole group. If Power Word, Chitter is directed at a single creature with less than 100 hit points that creature's head explodes upon hearing it. If Power Word, Chitter is cast as an area of effect spell it instantly explodes the heads of all within a 15 ft radius. It kills only creatures with less than 20 hit points for a combined total of 200 hit points collectively. The spell affects creatures with the lowest hit point totals first until 200 is reached. All creatures that survive the Power Word, Chitter must make a saving throw or suffer permanent deafness in both ears. Creatures making their saving throws save for half damage, meaning that they go permanently deaf in one ear. Creatures who survive Power Word, Chitter also develop a permanent and crippling fear of Kenders. All Kenders who have Power Word, Chitter directed at them take an additional 10% damage and take a -3 penalty to their saving throws.

Repel Kender
Abjuration
Level: Clr 4, Drd 4, Sor/Wiz 4, Pal 4
Components: V,S, DF
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 10 ft
Area: 10 ft radius emanation centered on the character
Duration: 10 minutes per level
Saving Throw: None or Will
Spell Resistance: Yes 

The character is instantly repulsive to all Kenders who come within 10 feet of him. He disgusts them. They have no desire to speak with him, examine what is in his pack or handle anything that belongs to him. Kenders will actually turn and run the opposite direction rather than be within 10 ft of him. The Kender that earnestly desires to interact with the character can break through that barrier with a successful Will check.

Summon Kender I
Conjuration
Level: Bard 3, Clr 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F/DF
Casting Time: One full round
Range: Close (25 ft+5 ft/2 levels)
Effect: One summoned Kender
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No 

This spell summons a Kender to harass the enemies of the caster. The summoned Kender will chitter at the target, pick the targets pockets, drink his potions, handle his stuff and be underfoot, even during combat. The summoned Kender will believe the target to be his best friend in the whole world, and will speak cheerfully, constantly and in a high pitched voice to him. The target of the summoned Kender gets a -5 modifier to his attack rolls, and is 50% likely to come up empty handed when reaching for an item. When the Kender disappears after the duration of the spell it takes with it any item it was handling at the time the spell effect ran out.